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Emma Peel Vs The Smiths.
Ma mémoire s'inonde d'un tas d'éléments. Ma mémoire est une petite chambre d'adolescent traversée par un vent chaud. Je la parcours, lentement, en baillant car il est fatigant d'attendre.
Je me suis donc mis à prendre un large grog d'émotions pour épater la valse des souvenirs. Car je danse très mal, je les invite ces songes avec un pas de jaguar blessé. Un jaguar qui boit du martini dry. Il faut, assurément, de la tenue avec le passé. Et je veux en avoir avec ce personnage divin - Emma Peel.
Cette femme, c'est un peu comme un incendie perdu. On ne le voit pas, mais l'odeur des pins cramés hante vos épaules. Emma, elle se trimbale le long de mon échine comme un affectueux frisson. Quelle extraordinaire occupation que l'amour! Même lorsque l'on est insincère!
Je serai bien stupide de dire: je l'ai oubliée. Elle est comme cette petite égratignure sur mon tibia, elle me suit de partout pareille aux romances des Smiths.
De cette femme, on ne sait rien. Mais on sait qu'elle est heureuse - c'est beaucoup trop.
Elle a une moue boudeuse et répond à mes bavardages avec des phrases courtes et limpides. Je pourrais inventer des histoires, mais cela ressemblerait à ce qui se passe entre les autres.
Je n'imite personne: j'ai réellement aimé Emma Peel.
Voilà, je ramasse, sans indifférence, les souvenirs d'une fascination. Avec aplomb et inquiétude. Je dévale les avenues où les jeunes femmes accommodent leurs jambes nues aux lumières d'automne. Je ne me soucie pourtant que de sa présence.
Je porte en disgrâce certaines revenantes, je leur cloue leur regard sans jérémiades, précis comme une balle, je les oublie un peu... mais jamais elle. J'ai la fidélité et la futilité d'un curé. Je m'octroie l'emphase et le grotesque: je veux qu'elle m'aime et évite d'y penser. Il reste l'armada du rêve. Quel brave garçon je fais.
Je fais envoler toute cette collecte sentimentale à bonne distance. C'est sérieux comme un coma cette histoire. La vie est épouvantablement romanesque: on y joue parfois des rôles insipides.
J'ai le sourire désabusé, j'évacue toutes mes insolences avec sur mon front l'empreinte du torturé. Idiot, je le suis. Idiot comme aimer une femme qui n'existe pas.
Tags : musique, télévision, série, the smiths, emma peel
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C'est par hasard que je découvre ces quelques lignes qui soulignent, avec une délicatesse délicieusement surannée, la fascination ineffaçable que Mme Peel a fait naître en moi. Merci pour ces mots si justes.