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The Wake- François And The Atlas Mountains- Balthus
Le Miroir.
J'ai essayé d'être aimé. Elle, ma Comtesse Othenin d'Haussonville, son reflet, sa sueur acidulée. Je laisse passer les jours, les mois, les années. Vague parfum de glycine, mois de juin, mur de pluie puant de chaleur, je fais une longue marche dans mon souvenir. Le souvenir vient, doucement, me manger dans la main comme un animal sauvage.
Cela fait pourtant un moment que j'ai cloué les heures profanes de cet amour. Cette femme, je la revois fondue dans un paysage, comme cette enfant perchée en haut d'un cerisier, souvenir émouvant d'une toile de Balthus.
" Ce tableau, c'est toi, tout toi, une immensité presque ignorée et la stature confondante de ton innocence. J'ai tant vu de choses disparaître derrière le miroir pourpre de tes lèvres. Mes mots, ta peur. Je me souviens du portrait terrible de ta mère, ses yeux comme deux étrangers verts qui illuminaient le salon éteint. Ses yeux qui rongeait sa fille comme une petite cicatrice secrète. "
Une journée entre toutes, je revois les nuages rêveurs de Provence et toi qui ne me renvoyais rien d'autres que tes secrets. Tes secrets roulant le long de tes hanches, frappés contre ta nuque. J'aimais entendre tes silences fermes contre ta peau. J'ai essayé de te plaire mais tu étais déjà si lointaine, j'ai aiguisé ma cervelle pour l'échec.
Je l'ai fait avec talent mon amour. Dans la grande maison, le piano laissait entendre plus le vent que des notes. Dans la grande maison, il y avait un gardien et des fantômes.
Voilà, moi je te vois souvent: un reflet dans l'eau, une longue chevelure, une voix ... même mes paupières semblent avoir gardé l'odeur de ton corps. Maintenant, à travers les dernières feuilles, ton visage brun ronge le ciel. Les lèvres marquées au vin, je regarde dans le miroir - j'ai perdu la face blanche de l'amoureux ...
Tags : the wake, musique, poésie, balthus
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merci François and the atlas mountain d'exister pour me faire oublier Thiago Motta et Alex